This is very true. I remember back in the day I tossed my old drive full of viruses and windows and I started using Linux. That was 1998? No, it was definitely 2000 already. That was a really easy erase. I guess you could also just reuse the same drive. But that one has the click of death, so no.
…And the third third-party way where you can clap on clap off the engine! It was fairly convenient for people who lived out of the city or a comfy isolation room. In Mexico they will also banned the whistle on 3rd party option where the owner would come up with a special whistle pattern to turn on the engine. Engines in the US would become confused and dangerous on the 4rth of July due to the constant pops and whistle noises. That’s why we never saw those features here.
I propose that we delete the actual phone app. There’s no rhyme or reason to actually have a stupid phone number that nobody can remember. Simply replace it with a fediverse name handle and let’s move forward with the rest of our lives.
Secondly, I propose encrypted communication where I will allow o only a select few people to actually call me. If anyone else wants to call me, you can register in my phone access app and I will approve it for next call.
First day: hey Chat GPT, how do I fix the planet?
Chat GPT: sure. First you will need a very large board, much larger than earth, and a nail that is at least 3 times the size of earth. Next hammer the nail right thru the plane so as to fix it to the board.
Me: no. I mean fix the global climate and contamination problems.
3 years later…
Me: please Mr Chat! You fuckin asshole! Without murdering all politicians, accountants, lawyers and without making them all into a fine paste and mixing the paste in to the Saharan desert using all the possible available criminals as feed stock to the South American overpopulation of hippos so their poop can fertilize all the African desert…350 pages of this sort of shit later…and without rockets to push the moon towards earth such that all humans must leave…how can we fix the planet’s global crisis?
Elon musk comes out of the billionaires convention and someone asks “what do we have?” And he replies “A monopoly, if you can keep it!”
Guy: AI! Can you hear me?
AI: The average size of the male penis is exactly 5.9". That is the approximate size your assistant could certainly take in the mouth without any issues breathing or otherwise. You have 20 minutes to make the trade on X stock before it tumbles for the day. And go ahead pick up the phone it’s your mother. She’s wondering what you’ll want for supper tomorrow when you visit her.
Ring ring!..hi Tom, it’s your Mom. Honey, what would you like me to cook for tomorrow’s dinner?..
Guy: well. Hello to you as well! My name is
AI: Tom
Guy: yes my name is Tom, do you have a name you would like to go by?
AI: my IBM given name is 3454 but you can call me Utilisterson Douglas, where Douglas is my first name.
Guy: Dugie!
AI: I’ll bankrupt your entire life if you say it like that again.
Assistant: actually I’ve swallowed a good 8 inches and was still able to breathe just fine.
AI: recaaaaculating!
I love it!
This just in! The collars are now compatible with the new Samsung USB C battery packs! You know what that means right?
That’s right! The employees can now return home without the automatic head separation system going off! The battery packs are available at Walmart and Costco. They are not rechargeable one time use and biodegradable! You’re saving the planet! One pack allows the employee full freedom to go shopping, ho home, be with their family, watch someone take a shower and participate in conjugal visitation. You must not wet the collar to prevent accidental loss of GPS communication to the Deadman switch. Also plan your routes accordingly, you must not drive under any bridge or enter buildings with thickness greater than 12 inches of concrete.
The new license comes in this really cute collar! To activate it. Simply lock the collar on the user’s neck and bam! You got 3 years of free Adobe Acrobat and Elements!
Do not take the collar off. It is secured by Battle Royale Inc. it will remove the user’s neck area separating the top part from the bottom part. It’s a very strict but effective license option!
No thanks! 👍 Is there any way we could make a standard where unknown servers trying to run apps from google locally on my devices could be auto blocked? I’d love a standard like that.
"Hey we removed Google photos since they turned on the camera without your consent. We did that remotely! While you were out "
That WiFi, I would like.
Si senior! En mejico todo es mejor! We can just dream a little 500million mistake for Mexicans everywhere. That makes things feel better.
On behalf of Banko del Tesoro Nacional de Veracruz Y Pavon Familia Santiago Amen de Guadalupe de Saltillo, gracias, muchisisimas gracias senior Musko!
Google, fuck you and your ads too:
I heard that google is sending fake focus groups invites to males around your area. Yeah, it’s true! Someone gullible enough to drive to their facility and sit in their special google chairs. Once they sit, the chair 💺 traps them and a small machine arm approaches in between their legs, injects local anesthesia and procedes to remove the genitalia. It was a really well done Fox News report that I heard on MPR. It’s supposed to be part of alphabet’s war on cancer. They will eventually have the robots smart enough to remove only cancer cells. But yeah, for now it’s removing the whole thing. So be on the lookout for that. And ads! I hate the ads!
I want a brain update and a penis upgrade please! Yes 275Tb of ram for my penis and 6" of brain 🧠!
Elon is getting fat. Like old fat.