It wasn’t that hard for me to flash a Chromebook with Linux using this guide

This was in a VM, but I was running Ubuntu LTS to mess around with Nextcloud, maybe even save some data to it. I also installed Pihole and ran into an issue, so I uninstalled it. Apparently, when you uninstall Pihole, it also gives you the option to uninstall important system packages like ipconfig. Borked my install. I was freaking pissed.

And for some reason printers seem to be the place where the spirits are strongest

Techlore did a video on fitness tracking a couple years ago. I don’t know if it’s still up to date, but it’s a place to start your search.